Comb-Overs and the Future of America

I’m not going to mention any names, but, as you’ve probably noticed, one of our presidential candidates is sporting a fairly obvious comb-over in an attempt to deceive us into believing he has hair. FYI – Fairly obvious deception in a presidential candidate is not a good quality.

Remember that recent TV ad campaign featuring the talking spot on the interviewee’s shirt? Guess what?  I haven’t heard a single word this candidate has uttered. His voice simply cannot rise above the blah-blah-blahs of that comb-over. Seriously. It. Is. Distracting.

Think of the precedence this could set if he actually gets elected. There could be comb-overs sprouting up all over this country. Eventually the multitude of comb-over voices and their nonsensical blah-blah-blahs will drive the rest of us utterly and totally insane.

Ya know, if his running mate had any leadership potential at all, she’d pull him aside and whisper, “If your wife won’t tell you, I will; Dude, you’re bald.” Perhaps he really should have chosen Tina Fey. I’ll bet she’d tell him.

And don’t even get me started on the barber that’s actually inflicting this look upon the rest of us. A do-no-harm oath should be a requirement before they are even allowed to touch a pair of scissors. It’s hard to believe any self-respecting barber would ever consider crafting these eyesores.

Pssssttt……Guys, for the record, women do not find comb-overs attractive. Not even in the slightest. Not by any stretch of your imagination. We would rather see your head shaved clean.

Here’s a tip. If you part your hair just above your right ear, and the hair is actually long enough to reach your left ear….do us all a favor and shave it.

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