Apparently I suck at blogging in the summer months. (Yeah. You’re right. It is quite possible that I suck at blogging year ’round.)

I even got up with the birds this morning, and there still aren’t enough hours in the day.

And in case you’re wondering, the birds got up at exactly five this morn. I know this because I have not one, but two antique clocks that chime on the hour. The birds began singing on the stroke of 5.

Not that they woke me up. Mr. Kewlstuff’s snoring did that at around 4:40. So when the birds started their racket at five I figured it was either 1. Get up or 2. Attempt to smother Mr. Kewlstuff with a pillow. Since I’ve attempted to smother him numerous times and failed, I felt option 1. would be less hassle all the way around.

So I’ll try and bring you up to speed.

The garden has tripled in size since I last posted. Mostly because it hasn’t stopped raining since the middle of June.

Believe it or not, a garden is a difficult thing to photograph. This is the best I could do…

This is only about a third of it, but at least you’ll have something to compare it to when I post the next picture.

Let’s see. We now have $600+ into one of the dogs eyes. She developed an ulcer on her right eye, no doubt because Mr. Kewlstuff lets her ride with her head hanging out the car window. (Correction. He used to let her ride with her head hanging out the car window.) We’re talking oral antibiotics twice a day and antibiotic drops in her eye every four hours for the last month. Personally, I think we could have gotten her a realistic glass eye for about half of that.

In the meantime my car puked out all it’s brake fluid. Naturally it couldn’t be anything as easy as a brake line. Turned out to be a part that no one, including the dealer, has ever seen before. Making it very expensive to replace. Because it’s rare.

I can say with certainty that I won’t have time to post again before the holiday, so I’m wishing you all a safe and happy 4th of July.

And Crotchety, if by chance you’re reading this, I hope you’re feeling better every day.

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He’s been hanging on that same spot on the kitchen window ogling me all week.

Creepy, huh?

I swear his eyes follow you everywhere, just like one of those paintings in a Three Stooges episode.

And is it just me, or does he appear to be baring what look like tiny little razor-sharp teeth?

I think I’ve gotta lay off the Stephen King novels.

Oops, almost forgot to wish all the Dad’s a Happy Father’s Day!

(Geez, I wonder if “Tom” has any kids?)

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Another week gone. WTH.

At least my torment is over. The house paint has been purchased. I chose these colors – - – - – >
then bought the paint the same day so I wouldn’t have the opportunity to reconsider.

Notice the trim color is called “Pink Suede?” It looks a lot pinker in the can than I think it should. Ack! And I haven’t decided on the porch-floor color yet, but I do know I’m not fond of the blue they’ve used in this example.

And we planted a vegetable garden last weekend. Haven’t seen the sun since.

I still have hopes that in a couple of months we’ll be eating fresh cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, summer squash and eggplant.

I don’t know when they hatched, but the Robin’s are now in and out all day tending to the babies. We’re holding off power washing the porch until they’ve left the nest. They look darn near as big as their parents. I think they’re just hanging around for the free room and board.

I may not be popping in as often as I should for the next month or so. Since we only get a few short months of decent weather around here, on the days that I’m not really busy I’m going to have to invent stuff to keep me busy in an effort to avoid all the invitations for various social gatherings that are pouring in. I think we’ve been invited to every graduation and/or wedding within a 70 mile radius. Ugh.

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I must not have been paying attention. I was surprised to learn that the long holiday weekend is upon us.

Doesn’t it figure, my desk is cleared for now, so I don’t even get the pleasure of ignoring the work until Tuesday.

We’ll be spending much of the weekend power-washing the house in preparation for paint. I say “we”, but I’m really referring to Mr. Kewlstuff. I’d help, really I would. But there’s some unwritten rule around here about women not being allowed to touch any tool that has the word “power” in its name. Understandable I guess, considering that time with the nail gun….

Anyway, my role is picking out the paint. HUGE responsibility there. ‘Cuz if you’re off just a shade, you have to live with the results for a long, long time. And worse yet, you just know that everyone that drives by will be asking themselves “What were they thinking?”

There’s a house like that in town. Looks like it was painted with a wet Smurf. Maybe the paint was on sale? Maybe the homeowner is color blind? Maybe the paint looked great in the can? Maybe they wanted to be able to give easy directions by saying “Just look for the big blue house on the right.” Hard to say.

So hey… if you happen to be in Home Depot over the weekend, stop by the paint department and say hi. I’ll be the one standing in front of the paint chips with that deer-caught-in-the-headlights look on my face.

Have a great weekend!

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Some notable quotes for all you Mom’s out there;

• “Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.” – Author Unknown
• “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease.” – Lisa Alther
• “Mothers are all slightly insane.” – J.D. Salinger
• “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
• “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” – Calvin Trillin

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….while I remodel.

I thought it was time for a fresh look.

So, if you wander in and things look a little whacked here and there, it’s just me breaking things in the background.

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We’re almost into April and I still haven’t lost that four pounds I gained over the holidays. Normally, I don’t have to worry about the holiday poundage because it comes off quickly with my winter work schedule.

Not this year.

So, since I can no longer button two of my skirts, I got the bright idea of trying the Special K diet.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with it, it works like this… each day, for two weeks, you have 1 cup of Special K with 2/3 cup of skim milk for breakfast and lunch. You can have two snacks throughout the day followed by a normal dinner. And in those 14 days you’re supposed to lose up to six pounds.

Sounds easy enough.

So I started my day with 1 cup of cereal. Mid-morning I ate snack number one. A banana. About 12:30 I ate another cup of cereal.

And at 3pm, my second snack….

An entire tube of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies.

Although it wasn’t specified, I’m pretty sure that GS cookies weren’t what they had in mind as a snack when they devised this diet plan.

I think I would have been farther ahead had I not wasted the calories eating the Special K in the first place.

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…by Tammy from Crazy Family of 9. You really should head over to her blog and wish her a Happy Birthday.

The Rules

Link back to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog. Share 7 random or weird things about yourself, then tag 7 other people and link to their site. Leave a comment on their blog letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Seven Random/Weird Things About Me

1. Each month, for about a week, Mr. Kewlstuff becomes extremely unreasonable. During that week I refer to him as Richard. I refer to him as Richard because he takes exception to being called Dick. His name is neither Richard nor Dick.

2. My ring size and shoe size are both 6 1/2.

3. I eat my steak rare but my burgers well done.

4. My monogram was the same before and after I married.

5. I can milk a goat.

6. Brussel Sprouts. Lima Beans. Bleck.

7. I don’t own a single pair of jeans.

Tag, You’re It…

Homemade Hilarity

Soggy-Doggy-Bloggy

Life in Trexlertown

Id Rather Be Blogging

Something For Today

Writing Quiets the Voices in My Head

Pants in a Can

Tags: playing tag

To You

To Your Buyer

To Your Lender

To Your Appraiser

To Your County Tax Assessor

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frozen azz.

Winter isn’t even a month old…..and I’m tired of it. We’ve already had more than our fair share of lake effect snow, high winds and single digit temps. This has resulted in numerous school closings, travel bans and power outages. And just so we don’t get bored, this morning we’re being pelted with FZRA, which is meteorologists’ code for freezing rain.

You know what else I’m tired of ? I’m tired of not being able to bend at the elbows, waist or knees because I’m wearing four layers of clothing.

So, today I’m kicking ‘Ole Man Winter right in his frosty gonads.

I’m going to crank the thermostat to 92, put on a sundress and flip flops, make a big pitcher of iced tea, dig out the red-and-white checkered picnic tablecloth and serve macaroni salad and B-B-Qued chicken for dinner. I’m going to turn on the ceiling fans, listen to The 100 Greatest Summer Songs of All Time and play a round of Wii-golf.

And if it’s still FZRAing tomorrow, I swear I’m busting out the bathing suits.

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