Wow. It’s November already. Tomorrow the clock in my car will be right again.

We had a hot, unusually dry summer, which resulted in drought conditions. I actually saw a lawn and a hay field burning, which were new ones for me. As you might imagine, maintaining the garden was a challenge too, although we did have an exceptional carrot and Roma tomato harvest. We didn’t fare as well with the peppers or cukes. Or squash. Or beets.

But in spite of the weather, for the first time, our oldest tree produced over a bushel of apples. I think I’ve made enough apple butter, apple cider vinegar and frozen enough apple pies to survive the apocalypse.

On the flip side, this fall has been unusually wet. I’ve already been forced to trade my shit shoes for my shit boots to tend to the chickens.

Speaking of chickens, we lost one of them to a dog in early summer. The dog raced up and down the fence line, causing them to panic, and one of the smaller, lighter hens managed to fly up and over the 6′ high top rail. I shot a couple of rounds over the dogs head, but it didn’t even blink, so I called the police, because chicken killing is serious shit in rural communities. Two cars were dispatched, because we apparently have no crime more important to tend to. As the dog laid down to dine, the younger officer asks “You don’t happen to have any dog treats in the house do you?” I rolled my eyes and replied “Nothing he’s going to want more than that chicken.”

The dog warden was called and the owners located. I was shocked at how far it had traveled to get here. The owners assured me it won’t happen again, but it’s a Husky, and there is no doubt in my mind it will come back as soon as it has the opportunity.

The house is much quieter without Ruby. I always blamed Diesel for the chaos, but I now realize she was the instigator. I would do anything to have one more day to cuddle with her. And I mean Pet Sematary kind of shit. Just for one more day.

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