I intend to spend the better part of this afternoon scaring the crap out of myself with a new-to-me collection of Stephen King’s short stories.
But before I go, here’s a relatively new site I wanted to share. If you don’t laugh out loud at at least some of these texts…. well I think there’s a pill for that.
Here are a few of my favs, but you can read them all at —–> Texts From Last Night
(717): You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
(650): So is it bad that I’m using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
(303): No its what 21 year olds are made for
(586): If a girl drunk dials you she’s at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
(313): YES
(919): What are we going to do tonight?
(704): What we try to do every night. Take over the world
(586): I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
(586): Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
(586): It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I’m stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
(808): i hope you realize when i said “grib” earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
(208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
(973): On a scale from 0 to 24…wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
(617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
(303): I’m gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
(847): Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
(206): put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
(714): I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
(818): Fyi I let myself into your place, I’m wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
