Old Man Winter Can Kiss My……

frozen azz.

Winter isn’t even a month old…..and I’m tired of it. We’ve already had more than our fair share of lake effect snow, high winds and single digit temps. This has resulted in numerous school closings, travel bans and power outages. And just so we don’t get bored, this morning we’re being pelted with FZRA, which is meteorologists’ code for freezing rain.

You know what else I’m tired of ? I’m tired of not being able to bend at the elbows, waist or knees because I’m wearing four layers of clothing.

So, today I’m kicking ‘Ole Man Winter right in his frosty gonads.

I’m going to crank the thermostat to 92, put on a sundress and flip flops, make a big pitcher of iced tea, dig out the red-and-white checkered picnic tablecloth and serve macaroni salad and B-B-Qued chicken for dinner. I’m going to turn on the ceiling fans, listen to The 100 Greatest Summer Songs of All Time and play a round of Wii-golf.

And if it’s still FZRAing tomorrow, I swear I’m busting out the bathing suits.

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5 Responses to “Old Man Winter Can Kiss My……”


  1. April
    on Jan 8th, 2009
    @ 2:58 pm

    Thanks for the comment you left me about shocking myself. What you said about the curly hair made me laugh. Also, I can totally relate to the cold weather issue. I’m in Cincy, and it’s freezing. I have this little heater in my office and I get it so hot in here. People act like they can’t breathe when they walk in, but it’s like I can never get warm enough.


  2. admin
    on Jan 8th, 2009
    @ 7:31 pm

    Glad I made you chuckle April. :)


  3. Unfinished Rambler
    on Jan 9th, 2009
    @ 12:40 pm

    FZRA. Hmmmm. I’d never heard of that. It sounds like a rap singer. Is he related to the RZA? (As my wife would say, “Har, har, har.”) Sorry, cabin fever has gotten me this way.


  4. admin
    on Jan 9th, 2009
    @ 12:47 pm

    UR >>>> You must live in a FZRA free state. ;) Actually, that was the first time I’d heard of it too. I think our meterologists are trying to be creative. (Or perphaps f-r-e-e-z-i-n-g r-a-i-n wouldn’t fit on the map.)

    Anyway, sorry to hear you have cabin fever. You should probably take something for that.


  5. Obligatory winter bitching post on National Weatherman’s Day « an unfinished person (in this unfinished universe)
    on May 17th, 2010
    @ 10:32 pm

    [...] post, since everyone else is doing it. A few examples will suffice: Chris Cameron at Angry Seafood, Kewl Stuff I Found , Charlie Hatton at Where The Hell Was I?, and The Nemesing One at I’m Sure I Don’t [...]

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